Dr. Clarence Shuler :: Stories of Finding Hope in Dark Places and Cross-Cultural Relationships that Can Heal
Dr. Clarence Shuler is the President and CEO of his nonprofit BLR- which stands for Building Lasting Relationships. Their mission is to equip others for discipleship in various venues. He and his wife both speak and write about marriage, but also dealing with infidelity, and divorce, but they especially love to minister to singles in the church. Whatever it looks like, the Shulers are committed to “loving people with God’s love with no agenda and see what happens.”
During our conversation today, Dr. Shuler shared his story of coming to Christ through a relationship that would impact his life in many ways, through a young guy by the name of Gary Chapman. Yup, the Love Languages guy. I share that because their relationship gave birth to 50+ years of friendship and an opportunity to share how crossing those racial lines in the 1960s taught them both and continues to guide them in helping others learn how to embrace cross-cultural friendships today. Dr. Shuler himself does quite a bit of diversity training for companies, and for churches, and brings such gracious honesty to the table about what it has been like for him as a Black man in predominately white spaces.
His most recent book is a really powerful and raw look into his journey with depression and a sense of hopelessness. The book is called Finding Hope in Dark Places: Facing Loneliness, Depression, and Anxiety with the Power of Grace. He coauthored it with his therapist, Dr. Monique Smith Gadson, otherwise known as Dr. Mo. Their book is unique in that it gives an honest narrative of Clarence’s personal experiences as he walked out the darkest place of his life, but also shows his relationship with his counselor and how she was able to help him in that season. It is full of spiritual and mental health wisdom, it does not end tied in a bow, but it is overflowing with hope. Dr. Shuler hopes that sharing his journey will empower anyone, but especially Black men, to embrace vulnerability and find God’s power and healing in weakness.
I also want to echo this powerful reminder Dr. Shuler gives in this episode: Being in a dark place is not a sin. It is a place for the Lord to reveal Himself in a whole new way. We see throughout scripture about the Lord shepherding us in dark places, and in this world, we will know and have trouble, but we will never be alone and He will help us to find our hearts again there. He is not finished with you, friend. You matter and your story matters.
Connecting with Dr. Clarence Shuler:
Episode Sponsor: Tony Crabtree of Crabtree Homes with Exit Realty
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Scripture References:
Matthew 28:19-20- Making disciples
Colossians 2:10- You are complete in Christ
Genesis 3- Men’s curse/purpose from the Garden
John 14:27- The world gives peace that doesn’t satisfy
Isaiah 45:3- “I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.”
Psalm 63, Psalm 57, Psalm 142-David was in a dark place hiding in caves
1 Samuel 24- When David didn’t kill Saul
Revelations 3:7-8-I can shut a door no one can open and open doors no one can shut
Acts 2- the tongues of fire and each in their own language understanding one another
Genesis 11:1-9-Tower of Babel
John 13:35- They will know Me by your love
1 Chronicles 12:32- Men and women of Issacar and know what time it is
2 Corinthians 1:9- Indeed we felt within ourselves we would die… but we believe in the God who raises the dead
James 1:2-4- Suffering isn’t punishment
John 16:33- In this world you will have trouble
1 Peter1:6-7 , Zechariah 13:9- you are going to have many trials, the fire will refine you
Romans 5:3-5- Suffering produces character, which produces…
Philippians 1:6- The Lord isn’t finished with you
Revelation 21- This isn’t how the story ends
2 Corinthians 1:10- On Him we have set our hope
Colossians 3:23-24- We do not find our significance in men but in the Lord
Hebrews 13:5- We’re never alone
Psalm 27:13-14-What would have become of me had I not believed I would see the goodnes of the Lord in the land of the living
References:
Brandi Wilson’s episode where she shares about her divorce
Desegregation in the South was still SLOW.
Dr. Mo- aka Dr. Monique Smith Gadson
No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending by Esther Fleece
Gary and Clarence sharing about their relationship
Hymns about victory from white protestant churches
Songs from the Black church about suffering, survival and lament.
The #1 group battling depression in America is Black men
Statistics show that in the coming years, the vast majority of America will be brown (Michelle Ami Reyes speaks on this as well on our podcast and in her work)
Apartheid ended, what happened?
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